Let not your emotion be an excuse for sin

I was the woman betrayed.  That gives me the right to be angry at the world, right?  Wrong.  This was certainly a time of learning to lay down my anger, to lay down my wounds, and trust that Jesus would heal.  When we are angry and hurt, we can often times feel justified in sinning in our actions, in our words, and even in our thought life.  This isn't ok!  There is a righteous anger, yes, and that is ok.  But to sin in anger is different.  

This is an email to some of the dear women who were helping to keep me accountable during this hard hard time.  

Hi.

I felt the need to share this with you all, to confess my sin during this time.  This is taken from my journal this afternoon:

“A sent me an email today and overall he was just comforting and exhorting.  I appreciate him so much, Lord.  He and S are taking on a heavy burden, one they don't deserve to have to carry.  Bless them, Jesus, bless them.  At one point in the email A said, ' My one caution for today and even this week:  Let not your emotion and anger and wrestling be an excuse for sin.  All that you're feeling is valid, but not to let yourself willfully yield to sin.'  But what does that look like, God?  How do I distinguish my anger from sin?  I really want to understand this because I truly do want to be above reproach right now.  Is calling him a bastard sin?  Was emailing the woman sin?  Is not telling my parents sin?  How can I distinguish?  Maybe he's thinking less in regards to my actions and words and more about sinning in my thought life.  Like I can't read blogs or twitter/FB etc. because I'm just angry at everyone.  Their lives go on while mine has stopped.  They can post trivial stupid little updates; all I have is heaviness of heart.  I turned to them as a means to just check out, not think about this whole mess right now.  Which I should have known would be futile.  When I read the blog about the mom who was tired because she's going through a trying time of discipline with her one son, I wanted to tell her to shut up and deal.  Forgetting that that used to be a trying time for me too.  When I read about the friend, freshly engaged and gaga over her fiancé-- I want to say, "good for you, enjoy it while it lasts because it will probably end in a C.D. about making a great soundtrack with some other woman."  Forgetting that I was her 8.5yrs ago.  Or when the friend posts about having the "worst night of her life" because her dog died.  And I want to say, "Get over it.  Try having your husband use, steal from, and betray you.  Maybe that would feel like the worst night of your life."  But, this is wrong.  These thoughts, they are sin.  Help me to gain control of my thought life.  Let me only think, say and do that which will bring You glory and honor.  I'm cutting out the temptation to even sin in my thoughts by not going to blogs or social media websites right now.  Right my heart, God.  Help me to remember this is my battle and those people are friends, not enemies."

Please pray for me sisters.  Pray for protection against the temptation to sin in any way.