September 13th
hey ladies. tonight C sent me
a text that said: 1 Peter 1:6-7. I went into my room and read it, and God
tenderly lead me through a treasure trove of
scripture for my heart tonight. I’ll share my journaling with you:
Your Word, Lord, it's
like manna from heaven, feeding my starving soul.
1 Peter:1:6-7: In this
you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved
by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith --
more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire -- may be
found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus
Christ.
Jesus, my entire being
cries out to You that the tested genuineness of my faith -- in this trial of
C's affair, and the trials of life to come -- that it may be found to
result in praise and glory and honor of You. Never before this whole
thing have I truly grasped the mightiness, the gloriousness of Your Gospel.
Lord, let nothing else ever matter more
to me.
1 Peter 4:1-2, 12-13:
Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourself with the same way of
thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to
live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for
the will of God. 12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when
it comes upon you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings,
that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.
Lord, I want this
experience to change everything about me. every relationship around me.
I want to live no longer for human passions, worshiping my husband, my
marriage, my image, money, my kids, my title as a mom -- I don't want to live
for those things anymore. but I want to live for the will of God.
Your will, Your passions. I rejoice at this fiery trial, insofar as
I’m sharing in your sufferings. You were betrayed by the one's You
loved...and You loved them still. Help me to still love C. You
suffered, You suffered every time we give our hearts to something/someone other
than You, when our hearts are supposed to belong to You. C gave his
heart to another woman. But I will rejoice Jesus, when Your glory is
revealed.
1 Peter 4:19:
Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a
faithful Creator while doing good.
I will continue on,
living for You. Though I suffer according to Your will, I will entrust my
soul to You, my faithful Creator. And I will keep doing good--
sharing the good news and truth of Your perfect and glorious sacrifice.
What's done is done, and the past is behind me. I can't change what
happened, but I have a choice in how I am going to live in the
future.
And it is the promise
at the end of these next verses that will spur me on, to keep going, to endure
with joy.
1 Peter 5:6-11: Humble
yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time
he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls
around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm
in your faith, knowing that the same kind of sufferings are being
experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have
suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his
eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and
establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
I humble myself,
Father, wholly and completely under your mighty hand. I care not to be exalted
myself, I only want to exalt You! You care for me, You know my
anxieties-- and You take them, relieve me of them with Your perfect truth and
love. I know that the devil is seeking to destroy me, my marriage-- the
picture of Your Gospel. But he will not devour me. Or my marriage.
You are mightier than he. I am in the midst of Your healing,
I know that You are restoring me, confirming, strengthening
and establishing me. No matter the future I am Yours. I am Your
bride. Mighty God, to you be the dominion forever and ever. Amen
This has been a good couple of half
hours. Praise God for His Word. His truth. His might.
